Chicken is grilling and vegetables are steaming and I am jogging on the spot in the middle of the kitchen………suddenly hit by a bout of post baby belly mania I figured I may as well use the time waiting for dinner to cook to some useful end, although I’m sure anyone looking in on me leaping around the tiles to no music would have been somewhat alarmed.
Still, I’ve not yet resorted to jumping rope, playing solo hacky sack or karate katas in my bid to shift the stubborn remaining flab, there was a time not that long ago that I regularly engaged in these activities as a form of convenient and fun exercise, jogging isn’t really my thing.
It did get me thinking about the various weird ways people endeavour to lose weight around the world though.
The various contraptions and potions in Japan alone never cease to amaze me, among which were the much lauded ‘diet slippers’, which basically have a type of acupressure sole to stimulate beneficial points in the feet and encourage weight-loss I guess. I reckon these things work by making it way too uncomfortable to walk and so a trip to the fridge would be agonisingly out of the question, let alone cooking whilst wearing them!
Then there’s support underwear, or torture girdles as I fondly call them. Needless to say I’m not a fan of having my insides squeezed so that the extra bits end up poking out at either end, resulting in an inner tube effect under my chest and around my hips. I was a little taken aback when a fellow new mum surveyed the remnants of my 1st pregnancy and asked when the next was due, it appeared she was in fact a girdle wearer and had surmised that no sane woman would go natural when such equipment exists. I was very tempted to try the Indonesian equivalent of wrapping my torso in cotton bandages soaked in various herbs and spices over 40 days, but tumeric is very hard to get out of the skin.
The Gulf countries are not really into dieting as such and evidence of this can be seen in the soaring diabetes rates and rather chubby nationals who spent large amounts of time in malls and cruising around in darkened 4wds, stopping outside the local take-away joint and honking their horns for the staff to deliver orders to the vehicle. Of course anywhere there is wealth there is excess, and riding on the coattails are thousands of health-spas and cosmetic surgery clinics promising svelte figures and miraculous beauty. Weightloss gimmicks are popular here, especially if they entail little or no effort on the part of the customer. During my time working in the spa industry in the UAE, I witnessed people spending thousands on body scrubs, wraps, current-based muscle stimulation among other treatments and then head to the nearest restaurant and gorge.
Anyways, after a brief interlude to munch on olive bread and pesto I guess I’ll have to resort to old-fashioned tactics such as more walking and less potato chips. It seems a lot of people I know are either running or training for marathons recently, so although that sounds like my idea of hell, it has given me a bit more motivation to sort it out.